Wrapping Presents

One of the things I love most about the holiday season is wrapping presents. I’m not even kidding. Every year I seriously consider getting a part-time job at the mall at the wrapping station just so I can wrap more presents. Well I’m flying home this year and all the jerks are telling me NOT to wrap my presents so that the suitcase police don’t fucking maul my bags. So now I’ve got a pile of presents sitting on my desk and it’s fucking killing me, I swear to god killing me, that I can’t wrap them. I even cut out all the paper to the correct size and packed tape with my bags so that the minute I get through the fucking airport security, I can wrap those fuckers up.

I need help.

In other news, I dumped two different men in the same night at the same party. I’m in love with a lesbian. And all I want to do is punch.

Lastly, if you know any really flamboyantly gay men who like cross-stitching, send them my way. I made a cross-stitch that says, "I [heart] cock" and I all the fags I know are too uppity to appreciate it. They also don’t like it when I call them fags. Pussies.